When I say 'hell' it's not referring to a place we go, but a place that exists here on earth. It's when our mind is filled with self-judgement and hatred.
Just like 'heaven' is a place here on earth, when we are filled with self-love and free from fear.
"Sometimes self-judgment is so strong that people need to be numb just to be with themselves.
If you don’t like a person, you can walk away from that person. If you don’t like a group of people, you can walk away from those people. But if you don’t like yourself, it doesn’t matter where you go, you are right there.
To avoid being with yourself, you need to take something to numb you, to take your mind away from yourself. Perhaps some alcohol is going to help. Perhaps some drugs will help. Perhaps eating-----just eat, eat, eat.
The self abuse can get much worse. There are people who really feel self-hatred. They are self-destructive, killing themselves little by little, because they don’t have the courage to kill themselves fast.
If you observe self-destructive people, you will see they attract people just like them.
What do we do if we don’t like ourselves?
We try to get numb with alcohol to forget our suffering. That’s the excuse we use.
Where are we going to get alcohol?
We go to a bar to drink, and guess who’s going to be there?
People just like us, who try to avoid themselves also, who also try to get numb.
We get numb together, we start talking about our suffering, and we understand each other very well. We even start to enjoy it. We understand each other perfectly because we vibrate in the same frequency.
We are both being self-destructive. Then I hurt you, you hurt me----a perfect relationship in hell.
What happens when you change?
For whatever reason, you no longer need the alcohol. It’s ok now to be with yourself, and you really enjoy it. You no longer drink, but you have the same friends, and everyone’s drinking.
They get numb, they start getting happier, but you can clearly see that their happiness is not real. What they call happiness is a rebellion against their own emotional pain. In that “happiness” they are so hurt that they have fun hurting other people and hurting themselves.
You no longer fit in, and of course they resent you because you are no longer like them. 'Hey, you are rejecting me because you no longer drink with me, because you don’t get high with me.'
Now you have to make a choice:
You can step back, or you can go to another level of frequency and meet people who finally accept themselves like you do.
You find there is another realm of reality, a new way of relationship, and you no longer accept certain kinds of abuse."
Ryan Hassan, Co-Founder at The Melbourne Centre of Healing.
Specialists in Addiction Recovery (including Ice Addiction) and Mental Health at our Addiction Rehab Centre in Melbourne, Australia.