As human beings, we all have our own values, beliefs and attitudes that we have developed throughout the course of our lives. Our family, friends, community and the experiences we have had all contribute to our sense of who we are and how we view the world.
When we form a belief it is not necessarily universal truth. It is an idea or principle which we judge to be true and therefore becomes our direct truth.
The particular type of beliefs that I focus on in my work and am going to discuss in this blog are our Limiting Beliefs.
These are the beliefs strongly embedded into our subconscious which tend to impact us in a negative way, limiting us from living a happy and fulfilling life. They are the cause of our fears and our insecurities - those internal thoughts we have that say ‘I’m not skinny enough’ but also say ‘eat the chocolate cake’ when you’re consciously trying really hard to diet.
These thoughts we have, the ones we cannot control, come from those deeper beliefs embedded in us.
Typically beliefs like this are formed when we have a certain experience in our life that has a significant negative impact on us in the moment, referred to as trauma.
Usually when I say trauma, people think of car accidents, plane crashes and crime scenes, however, trauma is experienced in many other forms and it’s the ones we tend to overlook that often have the greatest impact.
Once we create a certain belief about something, we then manifest our outer world to match our inner world. For example, if you have a belief strongly embedded into your subconscious that you are going to end up alone then you will find it really difficult to start or stay in a relationship without subconsciously sabotaging it.
As you’re reading this, you may be starting to think about a few beliefs you may have based on your negative self talk.
Let’s look at some of the common ones;
- I am not good enough
- I am not valuable
- I don’t love myself
- I am not good looking
- I fear failure
Can you remember a time when you said at least one of these to yourself?
You may even have a little fight between your conscious and your subconscious where you tell yourself you are good enough because that is what you want to believe but then that nasty voice in the back still comes through making you question that.
That nasty voice that comes through is the one we want to gain better control of because that’s the one that’s making all the calls in your life.
Now that I’ve briefly touched base on what some of the obvious limiting beliefs are, what I really want to bring to your awareness are some of the common limiting beliefs that people would never have thought they had.
I Fear Success
Allot of people know that they are afraid to fail, however, are not so aware when they may actually be afraid to succeed. The difference here is that a person fearing failure will normally give up before they even try, where as a person fearing success tries really hard to succeed but is never able to get there due to unconsciously sabotaging it.
If you are motivated to succeed and are working hard to get there but haven’t been able to, you may have the limiting belief that you fear success.
2. I Fear Looking Good
Allot of people know when they are afraid to look bad, however, are not so aware when they may actually be afraid to look good. The difference here is that a person fearing looking bad will avoid things they know will have a negative effect on their physical appearance, whereas a person fearing looking good will do things that negatively impact their weight, skin and overall appearance.
If you want to look good but have to constantly fight the urge not to eat certain foods or use certain substances that actually impact your appearance in a negative way then you may have the limiting belief that you fear looking good.
3. I Need to Sabotage Being Wealthy
Allot of people think they want to be wealthy, however, are not so aware when they are actually afraid to have wealth. This can stem from allot of different deeper beliefs around money such as believing that because your parents struggled financially when you were younger, you also need to struggle financially to be accepted by them.
If you receive an income that is suitable for you to live life comfortably but have spent your whole paycheque a few days later then you may have the limiting belief that you need to sabotage being wealthy.
4. It Serves Me to be Sick
Many of my clients that come to see me tend to either have allergies, intolerances or get sick quite easily and regularly. Being sick is certainly not a pleasant experience so it would make sense to believe it is not something anyone would want, however, as unpleasant as it may be, some people have deeper embedded beliefs that it somehow serves them and therefore manifest illness into their life.
If you suffer from allergies, intolerances or find that you get sick regularly then you may have a limiting belief that it actually serves you to be sick.
5. I Need to Live a Hard Life
Allot of people think they want to live an easy, carefree life, however, are not so aware when they may actually believe they need life to be hard. This can stem from allot of different deeper beliefs such as believing you don’t deserve to have an easy, carefree life because you feel bad that as a child your parents favoured you over your sister which you hold allot of guilt for.
If you try to have an optimistic outlook on life and are always striving toward greatness yet find you have allot of obstacles that prevent you from getting there then you may have the limiting belief that you actually need life to be hard.
Awareness is the first step to overcoming these deeply embedded beliefs that are limiting you from living a happy and fulfilling life. First you need to become aware of the particular belief you have and then you need to become aware of the moment you created it.
If you would like to understand more about how these particular beliefs that are limiting you have been created and how you can overcome them for good you can find out more about our programs by booking in a Free Initial Consultation.
Chanel De King, Therapist at The Melbourne Centre of Healing
Specialists in Addiction Recovery (including Ice Addiction) and Mental Health at our Addiction Rehab Centre in Melbourne, Australia.