WHAT ARE THE 3 COMMON THREADS WE'VE FOUND IN TREATING PEOPLE WITH ADDICTION, ALCOHOLISM, DEPRESSION & ANXIETY?
NUMBER 1 - DISCONNECTION FROM SELF
I remember sitting there on my couch at home in the middle of a week long relapse. I started questioning everything about myself, my behaviours, my personality, the way I was around people. I had this idea of 'who I was' and it was falling apart in my mind.
I was staring at the floor for what felt like an hour, when I looked up at my friend who was sitting on the couch opposite I said to her
"I have no idea who I am"
I still remember the fear I felt when I said those words and I'm sure my voice was shaking as I said it. But there was also something magical in that moment. For the first time in years I became vulnerable.
We tend to see vulnerability as a weakness but it's just the opposite. The moment I became vulnerable, I became open.
Clients will often tell us that they've 'lost who they are', truth is we can never lose who we really are. That part of us that we love and that we feel is missing is simply covered up by walls that have been put in place to protect us.
We can feel like that part is missing and that we need to find it again, therefore we look externally to alcohol, drugs, relationships, etc.
However, reconnecting with that part is an internal quest, it's a shift from within.
NUMBER 2 - FEELING LIKE WE'RE STUCK FEELING THIS WAY
It's one of the most frustrating things in the world to be in pain and not know the answers as to why....
And it's compounded when we're constantly told by the people around us;
"Snap out of it!"
"Why don't you just stop"
"Can't you see you're hurting the people around you"
"Why can't you just go back to the way you were?"
These questions don't help in the slightest, even though the people asking are doing so because they care.
We feel like we need to, and should have all the answers. Sometimes we don't need all the answers, all we need to know is;
Is it possible?
Is it possible for me?
It is 100% possible. Not only for us to climb out of the hole we've found ourselves in and get back to baseline, but to go well beyond that and live an amazing life on our terms. I've always said, all you need is a sample size of one.
Go searching and find that person who has done what you're wanting to do, all you need to do is see that for this first question to be answered. Seeing that it is in fact possible will give hope and inspiration, it may not feel like much but trust me it is. It opens the door to the second question.
Now that we know it's possible we become more open to finding our path. Whilst there are many similarities between people, everyone's healing journey is unique. It's time to start looking and find what resonates. You'll know when you've found it when that voice in your heart says "You need to do that". Even though there will be fear and some trepidation you will act in spite of it, as this is your time.
NUMBER 3 - EVERYONE WANTS TO BE FREE
Everyone that comes through our doors, no matter the life circumstance or history they have, wants to be free. Not only do they want to be free but they want to contribute back to the world in some way.
This display of the human spirit is one of the most inspiring things I see each day.
What holds us back from being free is a belief that we don't deserve it.
This deep need of the human spirit gets blocked by the human condition. We feel like what we've done in the past or what has happened to us means that we don't deserve peace, joy and love.
This is not true and requires forgiveness of the people that have wronged us and most importantly, ourselves.
Once we can go back to the things we're holding onto from our past and release the emotions that surround it, we can start to let go. We can begin to stop punishing ourselves.
So if you can't say it to yourself yet let me be the first to start you on the path;
YOU DESERVE TO BE FREE. I WANT THAT FOR YOU. THE REST OF THE WORLD WANTS THAT FOR YOU. BECAUSE LETTING YOUR LIGHT SHINE IS A GIFT TO THE UNIVERSE.
"THE GREATEST THERAPIST IN THE WORLD IS YOUR HIGHER SELF, OUR JOB IS TO BE THE BRIDGE TO HELP YOU ACCESS THAT"
Thank you so much for reading this article, feel free to send me any questions you have at the bottom of the page.
Ryan Hassan, Co-Founder at The Centre for Healing (formerly The Melbourne Centre of Healing).
Specialists in Addiction Recovery (including Ice Addiction) and Mental Health at our Outpatient Addiction Rehab Centre in Melbourne, Australia.