Let’s face it, we are all striving for happiness in everything that we do.

We get an education, try to make our parents happy, get a job so we can buy some freedom, find a partner to make us happy or add to our life in some way.

Like any improvement though, there are several steps to actually finding true or inner happiness; rather than the on-going chasing of ‘what’s next’ and feeling on a deep level like there is a deep hole that you have been unable to fill with material things.

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Here are 6 Steps (in order) of how you can start to find inner happiness on your own;

  1. Just like finances, we need to know exactly where you are now before you can actually start to plan where you want to be. Just like an inventory, be brutally honest and write down where you are at right now.

    Some examples could be;
    - I am in $28,120 debt
    - I am needing to drink every night to relax
    - I am not finding purpose or joy in my job
    - My relationship with my mother is waning
    - I don’t have enough time for self care

  2. Once you know exactly where you are now (and own it) then you can start to discover and think about where you really want to be. Close your eyes and picture how you would like your life to be. Write down the details of what you need to get there.

    Some examples could be;
    - Get a more relaxed job so I can spend more time in nature and with family
    - Spend more time on self care
    - Move to a different suburb
    - Communicate and resolve issues with mother
    - Sell some unused items to pay down debt and interest


  3. Now that you know exactly where you are and where you want to be, have a think about what excuses come up that are trying to block your path that you need to go into and rise above.

    Some examples could be;
    - I am worried what my friends might think about me
    - I am scared or can’t be bothered looking for another job
    - I am used to this area and I hate moving
    - I don’t even know how much I am paying in interest on my loans per month.
    And the list goes on.

  4. Now, ask yourself what would happen if you don’t change. Would you be happy to listen to your negative self talk, give into it and stay as stressed and as unhappy as where you are now?
    It may be easier in the now to just keep going, but how are you going to be and feel in one year's time? Two years time? And beyond?

  5. Baby steps. The key is to take action. This doesn’t mean just handing in your resignation. This could mean visiting new suburbs, asking people for their advice that have had a sea change, researching and thinking about a job that you would love to jump out of bed for, or an easy job that will allow you time and space for a creative side passion.

  6. Hold onto that vision from step 2. Remind yourself why you are starting to work on yourself. This will give you courage and a vision to pull you through the challenges that may come up. The best time to think about this is first thing when you wake up and last  thing before you go to bed.


I hope that this has given you a strategy to start working on your dreams. The main thing is to enjoy and believe in your capabilities (because we are all capable).

Remember, life is going to happen anyway so you may as well create it yourself.


Melissa Hiemann, Co-Founder at The Melbourne Centre of Healing.

Specialists in Addiction Recovery (including Ice Addiction) and Mental Health at our Outpatient Addiction Rehab Centre in Melbourne, Australia

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