Social anxiety disorder can affect someone in many ways, from reduced happiness levels to missing out on great opportunities and relationships in life.
Trauma has the tendency to play a key role in the symptoms experienced by someone who has social anxiety. This trauma often occurs in early childhood and can affect someone for the rest of their life without their conscious awareness of where it has come from and why - they think that ‘that’s just how I am’ and aren’t aware that it can be explored deeper and be overcome.
Other people have sought help from a counsellor , psychologist and alike and may have discovered particular events that may be the root cause of the stress disorder that is affecting them today. Unfortunately not all therapies can find the cause of the trauma - and also heal and resolve the thought patterns and limitations that have been created which are still causing anxiety and stress today.
An example of a traumatic event from my own personal healing experience was when I was in primary school. I was in Year 2 and I had just come back from a trip up to the Northern Territory in Australia.
We had a show and tell day that day, I was beyond excited to share my relics from the trip through the outback, including pictures, opals, my journal with a dried Stewart Desert pea flower.
I was in fact so excited that I was talking about it while waiting in line to a fellow student (and whilst someone else was presenting). This caused the teacher to get upset with me and said that I could not present my show and tell. I was deeply hurt and saddened (the teacher was right though, in hindsight I was being disrespectful), but my emotions, thoughts and heart were deeply hurt and disappointed in that moment.
That emotion embedded a strong belief into my body and mind, that was “I do not deserve to speak and share my joys in front of people”
This, in later years, caused me to always try and avoid speaking in front of class through high school and I also felt very unconfident speaking to a group of friends or people that I didn’t know very well.
I had forgotten that event and eventually labelled myself as shy and not worthy of sharing myself on a deeper level.
I would get crippling anxiety and freeze or cope by laughing and not saying anything at all.
In later years when it came to working in the corporate world and then eventually to starting my own clinic - it became apparent that I had to get past this anxiety and limitation if I wanted to be confident in who I was and be able to do well in my work and sharing my message to help people.
It was through this need that I came across different therapies - which in combination released and healed the anxiety and trauma.
The story that I have shared was only one event in my life which blocked me, and my body and mind remembered exactly where it was and where it came from (even though I couldn’t myself remember).
The release from my nervous system was immense and I found a whole new level of peace that I hadn’t felt before. This caused me to search for more blocks and I had a need to keep releasing and learning to become the best version of myself possible.
An unexpected but pleasant side benefit came from releasing my anxiety… I no longer needed to cope! I would often need alcohol, cigarettes and other substances just to be able to be social and go out in general.
With my anxiety gone I was able to go and enjoy social and family outings without needing something to relax to be able to talk and connect with people.
I was able to look forward to events, rather than overthink and panic about every little detail of who I was meeting, what I would say and what they would think about me.
I was able to finally be present, peaceful and calm.
written by: Melissa Hiemann. Co founder of The Centre for Healing . Creator and Certified Trainer of Emotional Healing Therapy
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